photo credit: Jupiter ImagesI suck at being single. Last night was the only night this week I had no obligations after work…no practices, no 2nd job, no plans with friends. I thought it would be the perfect time to work out, do laundry, clean my apartment I’ve neglected for a month, you know. At 4:30 I got a text from a guy I work with at the sports bar, whom I occasionally flirt with and actively avoid when I’m drunk for the sake of my relationship. Let’s just call him Jesse Metcalf, bc yeah, that’s his twin, obnoxious eyebrows and all.
During my first day of training my supervisor told me Jesse had immediately asked about me, and said I was the “hottest girl he’d ever seen in Indiana.” Silly, but flattering I guess. I didn’t really pay much attention to him, but as I got to know him better I discovered he is a really great guy. We hang out, and he came to be friends with J since we all worked together over the summer. People would actually even ask if he and J were related since they had such similar features. (Disclaimer—J is 20x hotter and more of a catch than this guy. But they both have dark shaved heads, tan skin, dark eyes, and big smiles.) Everyone at work came to know that Jesse had a ridiculous crush on me, and always joked about J and Jesse “trading places” on me when I’m drunk.
One hungover morning I actually did wake up in bed BETWEEN J and Jesse, and it may have been the most surreal moment of my life. Before you freak out it was definitely not as pornographic as you (or I) are probably thinking (hoping? :)). Jesse had originally passed out in my living room, on the futon with another girl he was seeing at the time. Waking up—blacked out—to go to the bathroom, made a wrong turn into the bedroom. He proceeded to, you guessed it, pee in J’s closet and then got into bed with US instead of going back to the futon. Ahhhhhhhh. I’m only glad it was his closet and not mine. And before you feel too bad for Jesse, he did kind of owe me one. I threw up in his rental car after my office Holiday party just a few months before this incident. :)
So there is a taste of the relationship, interest was obvious on his part, debatably existent on mine, and a complete understanding that it would never lead to anything between us. Until my boyfriend decided to show his ass, that is. In an attempt to exploit the terms of our break, and keep my mind from wandering to J taking body shots off some girl in the romantic glow of a black light, I called Jesse on my first night out as a “free” woman last week. He was happy to rebound for me and we hit the bars with my girlfriends. We ended up back at my place late night and things got interesting. We do the makeout thing, and it’s fun and he’s telling me how hot I am, and I’m thinking it’s just what I need to keep my mind off the situation. Then I notice he’s being a little shaky, and breathing really fast. Ohhhh, great, not one of THOSE guys. I decide to joke around with him so he’ll loosen up, and I ask if he’s okay. Instead of a joke in return I get “Ash you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” So my hope for a no-strings-attached gets thrown out the window.
He sent me a text yesterday to see if I wanted to go to the movies. In all honesty cleaning and playing fetch with my cat sounded like a more fulfilling evening, but J wanted us to date other people, so in a be-careful-what-you-wish-for mindset I decided to go for it. When Jesse arrived, looking cute, and most definitely date-appropriate, we checked out the reviews (all terrible) and decided to stay at my place and watch a DVD instead. It was fun, with no signs of awkwardness, and then…..he went home. Feeling a little WTF about the situation (enhanced no doubt by my 2.5 glasses of Cab) I sent him a text: “so we only make out when we’re drunk huh?” And true to form for buzzed, irrational texting, I got back way more than I bargained for in the form of:
“No not at all…you know you’re the only girl I’ve really liked since I’ve moved here…but the reason I couldn’t do what I wanted to do to you the other night is bc of the fact that I like you that much and respect you a lot…and I know you’re still going through shit…and I told myself I’d rather have you when you’re completely there…that’s all.”
Eeeeeeeeeeeks. I think I need to throw in the dating towel. How is it possible the only man in my life I actually want to date, i.e. my boyfriend, is the only one who isn’t trying to get relationshippy on me?!
During my first day of training my supervisor told me Jesse had immediately asked about me, and said I was the “hottest girl he’d ever seen in Indiana.” Silly, but flattering I guess. I didn’t really pay much attention to him, but as I got to know him better I discovered he is a really great guy. We hang out, and he came to be friends with J since we all worked together over the summer. People would actually even ask if he and J were related since they had such similar features. (Disclaimer—J is 20x hotter and more of a catch than this guy. But they both have dark shaved heads, tan skin, dark eyes, and big smiles.) Everyone at work came to know that Jesse had a ridiculous crush on me, and always joked about J and Jesse “trading places” on me when I’m drunk.
One hungover morning I actually did wake up in bed BETWEEN J and Jesse, and it may have been the most surreal moment of my life. Before you freak out it was definitely not as pornographic as you (or I) are probably thinking (hoping? :)). Jesse had originally passed out in my living room, on the futon with another girl he was seeing at the time. Waking up—blacked out—to go to the bathroom, made a wrong turn into the bedroom. He proceeded to, you guessed it, pee in J’s closet and then got into bed with US instead of going back to the futon. Ahhhhhhhh. I’m only glad it was his closet and not mine. And before you feel too bad for Jesse, he did kind of owe me one. I threw up in his rental car after my office Holiday party just a few months before this incident. :)
So there is a taste of the relationship, interest was obvious on his part, debatably existent on mine, and a complete understanding that it would never lead to anything between us. Until my boyfriend decided to show his ass, that is. In an attempt to exploit the terms of our break, and keep my mind from wandering to J taking body shots off some girl in the romantic glow of a black light, I called Jesse on my first night out as a “free” woman last week. He was happy to rebound for me and we hit the bars with my girlfriends. We ended up back at my place late night and things got interesting. We do the makeout thing, and it’s fun and he’s telling me how hot I am, and I’m thinking it’s just what I need to keep my mind off the situation. Then I notice he’s being a little shaky, and breathing really fast. Ohhhh, great, not one of THOSE guys. I decide to joke around with him so he’ll loosen up, and I ask if he’s okay. Instead of a joke in return I get “Ash you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” So my hope for a no-strings-attached gets thrown out the window.
He sent me a text yesterday to see if I wanted to go to the movies. In all honesty cleaning and playing fetch with my cat sounded like a more fulfilling evening, but J wanted us to date other people, so in a be-careful-what-you-wish-for mindset I decided to go for it. When Jesse arrived, looking cute, and most definitely date-appropriate, we checked out the reviews (all terrible) and decided to stay at my place and watch a DVD instead. It was fun, with no signs of awkwardness, and then…..he went home. Feeling a little WTF about the situation (enhanced no doubt by my 2.5 glasses of Cab) I sent him a text: “so we only make out when we’re drunk huh?” And true to form for buzzed, irrational texting, I got back way more than I bargained for in the form of:
“No not at all…you know you’re the only girl I’ve really liked since I’ve moved here…but the reason I couldn’t do what I wanted to do to you the other night is bc of the fact that I like you that much and respect you a lot…and I know you’re still going through shit…and I told myself I’d rather have you when you’re completely there…that’s all.”
Eeeeeeeeeeeks. I think I need to throw in the dating towel. How is it possible the only man in my life I actually want to date, i.e. my boyfriend, is the only one who isn’t trying to get relationshippy on me?!
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